A little more than three weeks ago I was getting so frustrated with how school was going that I was close to throwing in the towel, and running far far away. :-P I told DH that things had to change, I could not continue as it had been going. I was even going so far as considering ... the end of homeschool, my nearly life-long dream.
In August I knew that we had a problem, and had considered having the Bug take a few online classes with an Orthodox Online Homeschool, but we decided that I just needed to change a few things and we'd be ok. Well, I'd made the changes ... and it was better for a few days ... but it didn't last long.
17 school days ago, I printed out a homemade calendar on a spreadsheet, and BLACKENED in the date. I looked at my daughter and said, basically, that we can't have many more of those kinds of days. There WILL be changes, I told her ... she would be making changes in her attitude and her work, and I would be changing things ... but I would not accept many more BLACKENED days.
I started researching how to help with concentration. Her mind, like her Papa's is amazing ... but she needs to learn to harness it; to FOCUS it. DH is positive that she does not have ADHD, but we both know that if we were to enroll her in school that teachers would be demanding *something* if they had her 5 days a week. So, what can I do to help her? How can I structure our life together to help her best to learn, to grow, to focus? I have been researching, and slowly, slowly implementing some of my ideas. It's hard, though, because in order to implement, I have to develop, but in order to develop, I have to have time away from her, but if I try to have time away while she is working on something independently, all work ceases. But slowly, I think ideas are gelling and we may actually get there.
In the 3+ weeks since I started the calendar with the Blackened date, it's looked like so: F C C+ B+ B B- C+ F F A- A- (those two were pretty heartening) F B- B- F C+ B+ ....... And today ..... A+ !! Fs are blackened days, Cs are Blue (sad), Bs are Green (getting there), and As are her favorite color - Pink. The grades have very little to do with her actual percentages of correct answers, because in those she normally scores in the mid to upper 90s (though we cover significantly less on the lower grade days), but rather more about how our homeschool is functioning. She sees the grades to a certain extent as to how she is working, how she is behaving, which is true. It reflects how much time she wastes even after a couple of warnings to get back on track, how much she fights with me, how much whining is involved. All things that she knows she needs to work on. But for me, the grade also gives me an indication of the effectiveness of my teaching, our methods, my relationship with her in our homeschool, and how our school is performing.
I had been encouraged by the B and A- days, but today was pretty nearly perfect, and helped me remember why I wanted to do this ... reminded me of what it CAN be like. We still have a long way to go, and I'm fairly certain we will have more blackened F days, but hopefully A days will become more and more normal, and the other fewer and farther between. More than anything, I pray that God will give us wisdom in teaching her and raising her to be who He wants her to be.
Some of the changes that I've been making:
1) I have been changing the length of time we study - making our day into 15 to 30 minute blocks. We may, for example still spend an hour to an hour and a half on Math, but it's no more than 30 minutes at a time. So, in this example, we will study for 30 minutes, then she goes and plays the violin for 15 minutes, then we may refocus with prayer and come back for another 30 minutes of Math.
2) I've been trying to keep us focused on God; this really changes our attitudes toward one another. I have alarms set on my iPod (which ring church bells :-D ) for the "hours", and we try to stop and pray together. We don't actually pray the horologian, but we read the Psalm that we are currently memorizing (in English and Church Slavonic), sing the Our Father, the Jesus Prayer (10x), and the "Glory" all in Church Slavonic (which is what our family worships in), and then we pray the prayer before beginning a task, mentioning whichever subject she is to next study.
3) I've been trying to make sure she gets time to release all the excessive energy that she has.
4) I've been working on projects where some of our problem areas she gives herself instructions, instead of "Mama bossing" her. For instance, we are making a movie of her stretching routine. I've already filmed the segments we will use, and she is currently writing out the commentary. When she has a good draft, we will then have time where she will be recording each segment, doing all the parts - explaining what each stretch does, and then "coaching" through the video of each stretch reminding what needs to be done, with another track of her doing the countdown. In the end we will merge it all into a movie file, which she will be able to play on the her monitor on the living room wall, and do her stretches with it.
We have another project in planning stages for a recording that will play as her "alarm" in the mornings from her computer to a bluetooth speaker in her room, which will play Russian Church bells, then will have a prayer that she will record, and at breaks in the prayer, she will remind herself what she should be doing (making bed, folding pjs, getting dressed, brushing hair, etc) ... hopefully keeping herself on track and starting the day in a prayerful way.
5) I've been trying to make my expectations clear, and reasonable, and trying to find ways to reward meeting those expectations and having natural consequences when they aren't met.
6) This should have been number 1 in the list, and I'm sad to say it wasn't, but it is now a priority ... actively praying for her morning, noon, and night (during my private prayers). In particular, two days ago I received a copy of the Akathist to the Mother of God "Nurturer of Children" that I ordered from Ancient Faith Radio. It is in English, translated from Акафист Иконе Божией Матери "Воспитание". This I plan and hope to continue praying each evening after she has retired.
There are a lot of other things that I'm considering, and am actively looking for other ideas.
